random summer/fall 2013

Life, believe, is not a dream
-Charlotte Bronte

 Building a bookshelf the week before Will was born.

Fresh treats.

Saskatchewan summer skies.

One of Will's many "impressed" faces.

Baby's breath and lavender from my flower bed.

Our niece Faith.

Nova.

Will.

Eyes are the window to the soul. Cello.

Our neighbor's yearling.

Nap time with Dad.

Whenever it gets cold I like to look at pictures from the summer to remind myself of greener times. Not to mention I've been working on family yearbooks (my plan is to make a photobook every year with my favorite pictures from throughout the year and call it our "yearbook") and the majority of my pictures are taken when the weather is nice out. Funny how that works.

This summer and fall have seemed to fly by. Will is over three months old now and I'm not quite sure where the time has gone. We've been so busy with company and appointments it seems like getting things done that don't pertain to the baby are major achievements for me. I finally got around to building a little console table during nap times and even though it's not my best work I must say I'm just a little impressed that I was able to pull it off at all. Keith has been wonderful, and often on nice afternoons takes Will from me and kicks me outside to play with the horses. Which no matter what mood I'm in I come back happy.

Winter is fast approaching. The garden has been taken out. The hoses drained and hung. Heater put in the trough. Oil changed in the tractor. Straw put in the doghouses. Nova is fluffy again. The horses are fuzzy and are now full time open to the back pasture. We hope they will be able to winter graze back there till January before we need to give them hay, but we'll see how the weather cooperates. Keith is of course the one to credit for the vast majority of winter preparation. We now have a dusting of snow on the ground and yesterday morning it was -15C. Thinking back to last year's awfulness we're doing quite good so far.

Life has seemed so busy. Quiet yet busy. However that makes sense.

I just need to make sure I remember to take pictures. 
 

Eat, Poop, Sleep, Repeat

Will is growing. Like growing way too fast growing. At our final checkup at the midwives he was 12 lbs 4 oz, and has just started slowing down a bit (he had been putting on a pound a week, the latest pound was over two weeks). At the pediatricians office he was in the 85th percentile for boys his age, and I have officially packed away the newborn outfits and he is fitting perfectly into three to six month clothes. I am frantically trying to remember every little moment and feeling of what he does, and part of me worries that I should just still and calm myself and enjoy all the little moments.

I can't help myself though. A lot of our days are spent with me staring at him and holding my silly iPhone camera in his face.

In the last couple weeks he is really starting to interact. Starting to look into our eyes rather than us just gazing into his. Starting to smile at us when he is in a good mood and make this little laugh. Starting to demand entertainment when the house is too quiet. He loves going places and seeing things, the more commotion the better. He's now been to two football games already and has been great for both. I'm thankful for when naptime goes long as I'm enjoying whatever quiet time I can get. As he quickly gets bigger and more and more busy I know he will keep me on my toes and my quiet "me time" will likely soon become a thing of the past.

For now, I'm enjoying the naps. The little sighs. The gummy toothless grins. The fighting to gain head control. The way he rests his head on my chest once holding it up himself gets too tiring.

And of course, all the blurry iPhone pictures :)

3 weeks (Things I don't want to forget)

I cannot believe that Will is already over three weeks old! Everyone says the newborn stage goes by so fast and I must say I agree. It seems like he changes every day. That being said, I would like to keep track of "Things I don't want to forget". Since my memory sucks (although I must say, my post-pregnancy brain is improving) I'm going to write things down here.

So to Will, some things I don't want to forget:

1. The biggest thing. You have made me want to be the best person I can possibly be. I feel such responsibility for shaping you into a nice, happy, kind, and thankful boy. For making you a good person.  I know that one of the best ways to help this along is to set a good example. And as such you make me want to be as good a person as I can. To demonstrate good manners and good values. To have as great a marriage as we possibly can so you have something wonderful to look up to. It's huge. And it's awesome.

2. The way your dad looks at you and snuggles you. Melts my heart.

3. When you're awake and you just stare off into space with your little newborn look. Not quite able to focus on anything, just enjoying looking. You spend what seems like forever staring out the window. Content to just be.

4. Your goofy newborn smiles. You have one where its just a grin and you show off your little cheek dimple, and then you have another where you scrunch up your nose and make a big wide smile. My heart is now a puddle.

5. The little noises you make in your sleep. Your muttering. Your little sighs. Sometimes you sound like a baby dinosaur and it's adorable. Sometimes you sound like you're really struggling and it terrifies me, then I look at you and you look perfectly content. Stinker.

6. Sometimes when you're done nursing you smile to lose your latch and it is just the cutest thing. You're usually sleepy when you do this and you just look so content and milk-drunk with this sleepy smile on your face and milk dripping off your cheek.

7. The way you peek out from your towel after bath time. Wide awake. Fuzzy wuzzy hair.

8. The way you smell after bath time. And in general. Newborn. Swoon.

9. How ridiculously comfortable you look all the time.

10. How simple and innocent your life is. You are so content so long as you have your momma and a nice place to sleep. No worries. As an adult ("adult") I'm noticing it so easy to get caught up in so many worries. Especially if you're a worrier like I am. Money stuff, job stuff, planning stuff, health stuff, social stuff... the list goes on and on. And looking at you just so content to be living it soothes me. It's grounding. I hope to keep your little innocent mind content like this and protect it from the world of worries as long as I possibly can.

Will

Life began when I saw your face...

Nothing could have prepared us for the feeling of taking this little one home. Our little one. Keith and I were both in shock as we left the hospital. "So they're just letting us take him? Just like that?"

The past nine days since Will was born have flown by. There have been sleepless nights. There have been good nights too. I have cried, I have smiled, I have been pooped on, I have felt completely overwhelmed by so many emotions, I have marveled at how innocent and perfect this little life is. We are completely enchanted. And every time I watch Keith turn to mush as he holds his son I want to cry with happiness at how blessed I am.

Freedom (or so I think)

(I'm just going to start off like I never left...)

Today is my first day of freedom. AKA maternity leave.

Keith took me on a beach-date after my last day of work. 

It was fantastic.

It is a Monday morning, I woke up with Keith at 5:45AM, got an important email sent off, and am sitting at my kitchen island in the sunshine with my tea and my toast. Sounds pretty good to me. Today is my official first day of maternity leave. Before this it was just the weekend. And I'm so happy that I live in a country where we get a full year for maternity leave. Most of the pregnant-lady forums that I've lurked online are predominantly American and I don't know how people manage to go back to work say 6 weeks after having baby. So in the spirit Canada Day having recently passed us, I say thank you Canada for maternity leave.

I am now 36 weeks along and I feel pregnant. In the past week things have gotten quite awkward. Baby has dropped and is riding low now. And while it's nice that it's not jammed up in my ribs all the time any more, I feel pregnant. I get hot swollen feet as soon as I'm warm or the slightest bit dehydrated (which it turns out happens quite quickly in July). I have difficulties rolling over and getting up off the couch. If I'm laying down my belly needs its own pillow for support. Ah pregnancy joys.

Swollen pregnant summer feet

Everyone is asking me what I'm going to do with my "month off" before baby comes (I believe my "freedom" then may end and I'll be thrown into a brand new schedule that I really can't plan for). And I am quite excited about my few pre-baby weeks. I am a huge fan of day planners. I just got my new one for the next year (I only ever get the academic ones and there is a very specific make-model that I'm addicted to and am now on my fourth year of using, if they ever discontinue it I'm not sure what I'll do with myself) and it is so exciting. I get to look all the way into 2014 now. Anyway. I have been writing myself to do lists in my day planner and it's just so satisfying to see all my necessary tasks laid out before me like that. Examples:

Today:
-write that important email (check!)
-make vet appointment for the dogs
-book hospital tour
-do laundry
-drill pocket holes
-put up upstairs curtain rods with Keith

The pocket holes are quite exciting. I've decided to finally try building the coffee table that I've been telling Keith all winter I was wanting to build. So of course now with the sun shining and an enormous belly I've decided is the best time to do so. We got the lumber yesterday ($50 total, I'm hoping I can make this project worth it, if I see a similar coffee table for less than $50 I am going to be quite irritated) and I made all my cuts. Just a little proud of myself. I even had some angled cuts that I'm pretty sure I got right (thanks to a helpful YouTube DIY tutorial - insert a picture of me sitting on the shed floor with my cellphone watching YouTube clips). So today I learn how to use my fancy Kreg-Jig to make pocket holes and maybe I can figure out how to start putting this thing together.

Don't be expecting a step by step blog post. It takes me long enough to sit there and stare at the instructions confusedly, add a camera into the mix and I may never get this thing done.

All in all there is a lot to do. We had our last ultrasound on Friday and they said it looks like baby may come in July rather than it's original expected early August. Which I would be quite alright with. I told Keith that as long as it gets to full term and he's home baby can come whenever it wants.

Well maybe not this week, I'm pretty excited about my pre-baby to do lists this week. 

2012, a review

2012 was with no doubt a momentous and very memorable year for us. I really saw my year begin, when the rest of my life began on our wedding day...

A good majority of the rest of the year was captured in iPhone pictures. Hundreds of blurry but smiley pictures that I look over often to see memories of the past year. We bought our land, we built the shed, I discovered the horror that is tick season in Saskatchewan...

I have never had to deal with ticks before in my life. Not the kind that go on people anyway. I've had to pull ticks off of horses which I thought was one of the worse experiences, that was until I had to pull them off of myself and found them nestled in all the most vulnerable and inconsiderate kinds of places. Keith would roll around on the ground in shorts and not have a single one, I would tuck pants into socks and they'd still find a way in. It was awful. I'm already starting to get anxiety over this upcoming May/June.

The summer brought lovely heat which drove the ticks off. We were able to go camping (which is a big deal to fit into our summers!), we got the canoe, took Nova on long bike rides around the park, and of course there's always football.

When I came back from Markus and Allison's wedding Keith surprised me with our fuzzy new fur-baby. Sofi has never failed to steal the hearts of most those she meets with her big furry face and floppy ears. I love looking at her puppy pictures. 

September brought the momentous move of our house. The big thing we had been waiting so long for it seemed.

I'll let you guess what we built with the moon....

We enjoyed our new found sunlight in the new house - such a welcome relief after living with the north facing rental window! - and I cleaned floors with an old t-shirt and my slippered feet (don't worry I invested in a spray mop after about a month or so). And at Christmas we enjoyed sparkley ornaments, candles in the windowsill, and lots of doggy snuggles. 

Between the getting married and the honeymoon and the land and the house and the building of sheds and fences and things with moons it was a huge trailblazing adventure of a year.

And at the end of 2012, we found out that we were about to embark on our biggest adventure yet....

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I cannot wait to meet you baby.